A Year of Drabbles
by MsRiRy
Summary: College, now that was a ball.
1. January 1st

Disclaimer: Anything recognizable, I no own. Not even the theme is mine; just the crack within.

A Day Late & A Dollar Short: Happy New Year!

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**Theme: Ninja ****are way cooler than ****Pirates**

To commemorate the passing of the old and the beginning of a new era of peace, a large celebration was held in Konohagakure no Sato. Friends and allies from all around were invited. There were games held with just a smidgen of gambling involved, alcohol, tons of food, sake, various performances, liquor, dancers, artist, and merchants selling wares of every sort. And, did we mention, lots and lots of drinking. This is Konohagakure, home to the most inebriated leader of all the five nations.

The academy students were given the special task of producing a play for the final evening performance. While the children, with the help of several Genin cells, would direct and handle all aspects of the stage to include sets, music, and costumes; auditions were held for the roles.

Sakura had done a little victory dance after she won the staring role from Ino. The students, intrigued by the entertaining and almost violent competition between the two Chunin, decided that there was no better chemistry opposite their leading lady than Ino. Sakura hooted in laughter at the thought of Ino playing a man, until she met the costume department.

Hinata and an angry Tenten, the tomboy had volunteered to play a male role, were cast as her sisters. Genin boys, who are hardly suited for the intricacy of sewing, proposed simple is easier and went with one-size fits all. So, the three 'sisters' were similarly dressed in a costume matching Tenten's height, fitted for Sakura's small frame but, with a bodice better suited for Hinata's endowment.

Boys + big boobs - you get the ideal.

Tenten quickly made adjustments, slicing thru the stitches, then pinning the sagging neckline to the shirt she wore underneath. Poor Hinata, they squeezed her voluptuous figure into a corset before pulling the dress over her head. All it served was to compound her breathing and make her bust even more pronounced.

Ino's costume was just as bad. Her breast bound, she was coerced into the same pale breaches as the rest of the male cast. Scary as it was on the men, it was at least tolerable. On Ino's shapely ass it was downright pornographic.

Feminist protested that this stereotyped the roles of women in society and that its blatant sexual undertones** -S.T.F.U**

Continuing onward, the play commenced. Sakura, who was one of the first on stage, barely had enough time to pull up her top before she was shove center stage, almost tripping on the trailing hem. The production, which had started well enough, quickly digressed into a mockery. More Pirates of Penzance than Pirates of the Caribbean.

There was singing. Oodles and oodles of obnoxiously loud singing.

Luckily, Sakura didn't have a solo and could blend her less than talented voice with Hinata's sweet soprano and Tenten's alto. Unfortunately, the same could not be said for the other players.

Jiraiya led his fellow actors in a particularly obscene song complete with gyrating dance number and a raunchy chorus.

"I am the Pirate King!"  
"Ho, Ho, He is the Pirate King!"

Maito Gai, cast as the sister's father, belted out his solo with typical youthful enthusiasm.

"I am the very model of a modern Major-General,  
I've information vegetable, animal, and mineral,"

Rock Lee bounced in the wings, starry-eyed at his idol.

"…For my military knowledge, though 'youthful and beautiful'…

_ZING_

"But still, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral,  
I am the very model of a modern Major-General."

The many visiting dignitaries thanked Kami that whatever problems they had with their own ninja, were nothing compared to the demented shinobi of Konoha. Even the Hokage was not immune to a bout of insanity as she proceeded to wallop Jiraiya on his head every time he swatted Ino on the ass with a wooden sword.

Hilarious as these shenanigans were, it was about to get much, much worse.

Pandemonium ensued when Shikamaru, acting as Jiraiya's first mate, lazily commented: "Captain. It's bad luck to have a woman (I.E. Tsunade) on board the ship." _Hey, it was in the script._

Jiraiya, after far too many potshots to the noggin, proceeded to -open mouth and insert foot- "That's no woman."

Wherein, Tsunade demonstrated exactly why she'd been chosen as the Fifth Hokage. The King was smacked clear across the stage, slamming against the side of his large faux ship. It shook dangerously on the supports.

Tenten finally snapped. She had just about enough from the 'Beautiful Green Beast'.

Men leaned forward in anticipation as she ripped off her dress skirts, revealing the pants she wore underneath.

**_CURSES!!!_**

She chased the dynamic duo with a very real, very pointy kunai. Neji trailed a step behind, trying to calm his disturbed girlfriend.

Breathless from the corset, Hinata fainted into the arms of Shino.

Naruto and Kiba swung from the rafters, attempting to copy a sword fight they'd seen in a similar film, a huge white dog bounding after them. The beams swayed and cracked under the strain.

Eventually the slipshod crafted set collapsed. The cast fled as the stage buckled. Sakura, her lengthy train caught on some protruding nails, was catapulted completely out of the ill fitting costume and onto audience members seated in the third row.

She landed in the lap of an equally surprised Kazekage. Flailing her limbs in panic, she accidently cold-cocked his brother, Kankuro, while Temari laughed hysterically from the floor. The chair, unable to handle the weight of two struggling bodies and a half ton of sand, broke.

Sand scattered in various directions as the couple hit the ground. Sakura trembled, absolutely mortified; face squished against Gaara's taunt stomach, a small hand resting on his crotch.

Damn it, she would never challenge Ino for the lead ever again.


	2. Sasuke

I know, I should be posting the conclusion to Persuasion. I was attacked by a swarm of chibified Sasuke's after reading 'I'm Such a Sucker' by moon.shine.mustard.seed. Go, give her some love.

Warning to the wise: Always read the fine print -insert standard disclaimer.

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Music throbbed as the collective mashed with one another on the dance floor. In the semidarkness of a corner, a lone male hunched over a table, nursing the same pilsner of beer Naruto handed him an hour ago. If his companions caught him they would say he was brooding. Again. 

_Frigging __H__ell_, they almost lost today!

The first major tournament in the southern division, practically blown on missed plays and sloppy footwork. If the officials hadn't evicted Suna's star athlete, Konoha would have never been able to rally back from a three goal deficit. The ladies fared no better, losing to a far superior squad in the semifinals. Now it looked as if their best player, Tenten, was attempting to drown her failure with the help of Captain Morgan. Come tomorrow, Tenten would be back on the practice field, the loss only a memory.

His friends were strange that way. They all took life with a few hearty lumps of salt, while he anguished over every stumble along the way. Right about now, he'd probably be moping on the floor of his darkened room, once again despairing over his incompetence, his inability to please his father. 'Still not as good as your brother,' the bastard didn't even bother to attend. Mother did; she hadn't missed a game since he was seven years old. Neither had his best friends, of course, one of them was his teammate.

Sakura he knew since they were babes; there were pictures of them bathing for heavens sake. Naruto came along later, in elementary school. The three of them had stuck it out through crushes, rivalry, and jealousy. Naruto challenged him on and off the field, Sakura providing support to the both of them. Hell, as a child, she used to shadow his mother on the sidelines, screaming encouragement to the two boys. _T__hank __heaven__s_, they now sat in the bleachers like normal fans.

Naruto and Sakura, they stood by him on his worst days. Days when he wanted nothing more than to flee his father's belittling:

'Itachi made varsity freshmen year.' So what!

'Second year of high school, Itachi was selected as captain.' Who cares!

'Itachi was recruited to the leagues right after graduation; he didn't need college….'

You're not Itachi! You are you. You're Sasuke!

_**Argh!!!**_ At times, those two could be so annoying it made him want to pull his hair out. But _damn_, they were good at keeping him focused.

"So this is where they hide the local hotties?"

_**WTF?!!!**_(Cue angry internal roar) _Who dares intrude upon my solitude?_ Sasuke glanced coldly at the chit who rudely interrupted his moment of gloom, only to choke on a scathing dismissal.

It was that sun goddess from this afternoon, the vivacious ladies captain of Suna. Foregoing the electric hairstyle she sported in uniform, Miss Sabaku's golden strands lay heavily on her slim shoulders, a curl to the ends. Not disturbed in the least by Sasuke's icy demeanor, she sat next to him.

Eyes drawn to feminine muscles and glowing skin openly displayed by the mesh cami and lacy halter. Sasuke pondered. If Temari Sabaku was here then that meant her brothers were too, and possibly the whole of their teams.

_Shit_. There was going to be a fight. After what had occurred earlier at the finals, Naruto would definitely try to finish his beating of her red headed sibling. The two had scuffled violently on the field, requiring the combined force of several coaches and numerous officials to separate them.

The crowd parted for a young man dressed in maroon and black, hair the color of blood, a matching tattoo on his brow. Sasuke tensed in anticipation of the brawl. His seat mate calmly removed the glass that threatened to shatter in his grasp.

She smiled. "Just watch, Pretty-Boy. This is Gaara's show."

Did they plan this invasion? Temari didn't seem concerned about her brother's welfare. "He'll be slaughtered before the battle-cry is even sound," Sasuke pointed out. Positively convinced it would be a massacre. She nodded in affirmation. "It's within reasoning," she conceded.

She moved to lean against him as he turned to watch the proceedings; one warm hand resting on his bare arm. He shivered at that single action. Eyes closed to concentrate on the pertinent situation, "Naruto is a hotheaded dobe." "Reason is not his strong point."

Temari smirked at his reaction to her touch. "Are you so sure about that?" She chimed in his ear, her every breath cooling the heated skin of his neck. "Care to wager on your friend's strength of character?"

He'd bet his inheritance. The outcome was inevitable: one Naruto plus rage equals massive ruin.

As predicted, Naruto blindly charged. Neji and Kiba rushed to grab him as Shikamaru stepped in to negotiate at the behest of Ino. A blur of green and Rock Lee now stood between the two adversaries. Where the hell did he come from? Even hindered by crutches, Lee moved faster than most.

"We tracked him down at his home to apologize," pressing nearer, Temari answered his silent question. "My baby brother can get rather aggressive, especially if the opposition is a worthy challenger."

"It frustrated him that he couldn't match your teammate's speed." Gaara didn't need to keep up with Lee, he more than compensated with his powerful kicks and outstanding ball control. He had his team up by three goals prior to the incident. Sasuke heard the comments among the spectators; such talent hadn't been seen since his elder brother. On second thought, he wished the punk had come looking for a fight.

Temari continued with her explanation. Good, talking added a distraction from her bewitching actions. "He lashed out, viciously." That was an understatement. He almost crippled Lee with that solid kick to the kneecap.

"Lee suggested that Gaara make amends with the rest of you. Led us here to this bad-ass party you've got going. Not to shabby for a bunch of inbred country folk." That remark might cost her.

Naruto shook off his captors. Shocked, Sasuke watched as he clapped Lee on the shoulder before placing a hand out for Gaara to shake. The taunt lines of Gaara's sharp features scrunched in confusion before softening in acceptance. Animosity gone, it looked as though he was going to take Naruto up on the offer. Just as he took a step to clasp Naruto's hand, small, feminine fingers gripped his forearm, using his forward momentum to swing him around as a tightly clenched fist cocked him full in the mouth. A raging, demon pixie with short, cherry hair panted as she glared at the man. Apparently, she wasn't so forgiving. Gaara rose to his full height looming over the petite girl, a crazed, bestial look on his face as he languidly licked the trail of blood from his lip. He moved in a flash, twisting a hand in Sakura's pink locks and yanking her head back.

Rage clouded Sasuke's vision at the assault. Why wasn't Naruto stopping this? Maybe, because the idiot was too busy pummeling the middle Sabaku sibling. An inebriated Tenten reclined on the injured Lee. Ino, perched upon Shikamaru's back, cheered as Naruto and Kiba rolled on the floor with Kankuro. A severe Neji was eventually dragged down into the mass of flailing limbs when someone (Naruto) gripped his trailing ponytail. Shino lifted Hinata to safety on one of the tables Chouji managed to salvage from the resulting destruction.

That was quite enough. Motioning to Temari so he could go rectify the problem, she merely hindered him by blocking his path with her body. "Let it go."

Angered at her disregard, he sternly rebuffed, "He could murder my oldest friend and dispose of her body in the lake." She laughed in return.

"He won't hurt her. Gaara's been sniffing after her since we arrived at the soccer complex this morning." Taking advantage of his pause to consider that revelation, Temari gripped his forearms to shove him backwards.

"Besides," now slouched in the corner Temari settled on his lap, "you should worry about yourself." She wiggled curved buttocks to spread his thighs. "I did win our little bet." One hand moved to cup the back of his neck while its companion traveled a slow path down his tight abdomen.

Sure the gleam in his eyes must match the lust in hers, Sasuke replied. "You never said what you wanted." She did that smirk again.

"I'll take you."

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Holy Crack-a-lackie. 

Sasuke and Temari??? Where did that originate from? I don't believe I've ever read a story pairing them.

If you've read my other fics you know I love Gaara and Sakura. Everything I write will probably included atleast a mention of the two together.


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